Hope

Had a really good day with a really strange moment but all in all everything seems just to be going really well. Positive thinking down the line helping me smile :)

Commitment

For many reasons, relationships have been on my mind lately. And today the question of how much must we change, how much of yourselves must we give up in order to satisfy our partner? Is there a difference between compromise and total loss of identity?

I copied that passage the other day from the book saying that we change and adapt in respect to the other but I wonder to what extent is this a good thing?

How long must relationships be dragged on for, when things just don’t seem like they are working anymore? We know that the longer they last the harder they are to leave, but I wonder, so if imagining I am in a situation where I am not happy and I have only been together with that person for a couple of months, how would I react? Now take that same feeling but a couple of years, again how would I react? Does it make sense to stay in a commitment just because you are supposed to be committed to each other even if you are unhappy?

Like I say relation_ships and relations have been on my mind and I think this subject will always be one of those I will never have answers for.

I didn't just "lose" you... you also "lost" me

i think i just figured this out recently.

The worlds biggest female selling artist

" Don't know much about your life.
Don't know much about your world, but
Don't want to be alone tonight,
On this planet they call earth.

You don't know about my past, and
I don't have a future figured out.
And maybe this is going too fast.
And maybe it's not meant to last,

But what do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?

I just want to start again,
And maybe you could show me how to try,
And maybe you could take me in,
Somewhere underneath your skin?

What do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?

Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?

And I had my heart beaten down,
But I always come back for more, yeah.
There’s nothing like love to pull you up,
When you’re laying down on the floor there.
So talk to me, talk to me,
Like lovers do.
Yeah walk with me, walk with me,
Like lovers do,
Like lovers do.

What do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?

Don’t know much about your life
And I don’t know much about your world. "


Celine Dion - taking chances

I have always wanted to meet you and I still have this young innocent girls dream of doing so.

"There is a general agreement that a relationship that survives time is one in which the partners adapt and change with respect to what they expect of each other"

-- Social Psychology.

I just got home after going to the gym with my aunt and it was really good we went to a body pump class, so very good music and lots of hard work. I feel each muscle crying out right now but feel this high feeling also.
Decided to treat myself and just invited my cousin to go shopping, so this shall be entertaining also:)

All in all i needed to came here and say that i have enjoyed my week, with even less brilliant moments (univ work and feeling a little sad with my conversation with N) it was still amazingly helpful to make me feel a little more relaxed, a bit more positive towards myself also.

the stars really did shine this week, and i have a feeling they are going to shining with a beautiful full moon smile really soon:)

Possibilidades

Primeira noite fora, maidenhead agora um pouco mais conhecido. Quatro bares/discotecas onde posso dizer que ja estive e assim parecer mais “vivida”.

Caminho rapido de volta a casa, metade taxi metade os meus pes. Caminho a ouvir o que um dos rapazes tem a dizer e oiço, ele precisa que lhe oiçam, pelo menos é isso que me parece.

Olho para cima porque acho a luz demasiado forte, reparo me com uma das noites mais bonitas que ja tive. Sim aqui em Inglaterra as estrelas também brilham, e isso por algum motivo, deixa me com um sorriso na cara.

beliefs and ideas...

I just had a conversation that sparkled in me a bunch of emotions, ideas and thoughts.

I find it so interesting that people are so quick to criticise others and point out what should have been done, so quick to state their beliefs.
Not so quick I could argue though, in actually, maintaining these same beliefs and having actions that relate directly to what they said.

I think it is a human condition that we are allowed to change our mind, I just hope that at least myself, hope to slow down before I criticise and think how it would be if I was in that position. I hope I can look at things in different angles because I sure wish people had done it for me, and that with any mistakes of mine to come, my friends won’t be so quick to shout me out.

relation_ships

Today in social psychology:
So talking about relationships… how funny every time this topic comes up a put my head down and automatically become just a little more sad.

We do we brake up? Funny questions…
But how do we go about with when things go wrong…

So theories, there are many, one of the ones discussed today was.
Dissolution of Relationships

Lee (1984) Stage Model – a process taking place over a period of time and not a single event.

- Dissatisfaction
- Exposure
- Negotiation
- Resolution attempts
- Termination

Alright not to hard to understand,
First someone doesn’t like the way things are going or something like that…
So then they say that, the whole problem becomes real, out to the world, people start talking… whatever we may call the situations…
Then the partners try and find ways, talk supposedly…
If things are maybe worth some trying, people, say well, they might try…

But not always things are resolved, nor both become satisfied, so…
Termination.

Yeah what even made me think more was the little added point.

Key finding – the strongest relationship took the longest time to work through the five stages of dissolution.

Yeah, so I think I have been in the middle of this process for hum a couple of years.
Considering everything I think the termination started for me now that his new life began.

People always say that when things die other’s are born.

There's a 41% Chance That You Need Therapy

If you think you need therapy, you probably do. But there's a good chance you don't. Like everyone else, you have your fair share of problems. And unlike most people, you're fairly good at solving them yourself.

Do You Need Therapy?

hum i wonder:P
I guess the score is still quite high considering i will need to counsel other people:P (Poor them!)

I've never felt so alone

After finishing watching the last episode of session 6 of Scrubs (today i should have studied and i find myself doing anything but that...), one of my all time favourite comedy series, looking at the clock showing 4.24, probably the latest I have ever been awake here in England, I found myself crying. Elliot and JD envolved with other people just finally getting on with their separate lives and they end up, from what is appears, to be kissing each other after had shared their concern that they weren’t making the best choice with the lives they had began to live.

Strangely find myself overwhelmed with emotions…

But ultimately,

I’m so scared right now.

"I don't feel anything at all..."

&

but still... "the true dream is to be able to dream at all"

-> Grey's Anatomy

Isn’t it funny how the sky can be clear, the sun can be shining, reflecting beautiful colours, but still you feel chilly and find smoke signals coming out from right deep down inside?

book closing

So I finally heard from you. Wasn’t expecting anything less, I knew you would be loving it and you just confirmed it. As you spoke about the people being five stars, all I could think was, yeah of course all these new fantastic girls what isn’t there to be happy about, all the jealousy surrounded me like a wave. A little part of me was genuinely happy for you but such a smaller part than I wanted so I felt so crap at the same time.

The time has come when our history will reach the end and the book closes, in some way as hard and fast as it began.

It was a really bumpy journey

But I have to say I am so grateful I got the ride.

Past, Present, Future

I just watched Hitch …

again…

I had already seen it. Enjoyed it the first time, loved it the second.

It is funny how I find myself feeling so similar to how I felt a few good years back.
There was a part of me, before I learnt to love, that genuinely believed that for some reason, my life was going to be different, that I was going to for some reason, pursue different things, achieve and fight for different goals.
This believe never changed but was altered. A guy; A simple guy, a friend, a truly amazing friend before anything else. I found myself falling. I even imagined something I sward to my friends I would never desire. Ideas of a future, not at all forgetting achievements or goals, but, a future with someone by my side.

Unfortunately I hit the ground.

A few good years after and my belief was forced to alter.

Watching Hitch and I say in my head, oh my god I wish I could feel like that. Be wanted like that. Be loved like that.

For the probably, last 3 years my feelings haven’t even been corresponded; At least not strongly or as truthfully as I could wish.

Maybe a few good years ago I knew better, maybe then I really knew what is best for me, what will be coming my way.

I feel love died, for me.

I guess I lost faith.

Pathetically...

... Felling...
Sorry for myself…

How interesting that my last post was the 121; Coincidences that I don’t always find amusing.

Today my day seemed to have back fired on me. And I am not feeling strong confident or anything that belongs to the family of these emotions.

I just find it so irritating how I know all the fucking theory and can’t seem to pull myself together when I am supposed to.
Sometimes I feel so guilty about feeling this way, I found myself looking at me and turning my head side to side, disapproving.
Haven’t I had enough sad days?
No one here is going to emphasize with me so why am I still looking for the attention? That’s ridiculous. That is what I am telling myself… should be women enough to not have these pathetically stupid sad days… can’t afford to, I guess.


I want home.