Snow:)

My B-Day

20 years old...

i dont even feel like i have more than my 18 years old...
im silly
a big emotional kid
hate responsibility
dont do half of the things i should at my age...

dont want to grow up
never wanted to.

ironic, i so much wanted a full moon and today is a fully new moon:)
I guess even the universe does twistes on me


Just feel like saying to everyone that is important to me, I love you all very much!

stoping time

Am I wierd for wanting this?

i wish so many times that i could stop
stop time.

i know i am wierd but so many times i wish i could just, say, jump in to a happy romantic silly teenager film and stay there. or just stop in a ridicolous funny moment on a holiday day and just forget about everything else.
i wish i could ignore the reality of my life and my school work, my responsibilites, and just stay in a vegetable state of fun no worries and laughter.

is this wierd?
ohh i wish it was possible...

going back

bags packed and things
ready for me to go back, back to england.

time went to damn fast and so many things were not done,
already miss my friends
already feel like these 6 months ain't going to be easy...
can't wait to ly in my mom's arms cause already i know it is going to be hard not having noone around.
...


i wanted one last day in your arms
one last day of love
but you wanted something diferent.
i was angry and didn't say nice things
but even if you don't understand my reactions
believe it is just cause my feelings towards you
aren't easy to cope with.

but
things have changed
you told me long ago that you din't love me no more
and i can finaly say that i don't want to depend on you to make me happy no more
i need to depend on me and no one else.
i'm not in love with you anymore cause i just can't allow myself to fall.

i am glad,
after all the shit i have
always
been and done we can still talk and smile at each other
for this i say thanks

i hope one day you'll see in me a friend like u once used to.

New Year

2007

Before I start to write about how I feel and say all these things on the second day of a brand new year
let me try and take a moment
and say thanks
for the actual true love I have had
& actual real love I have in my life.


I know there are so many things about
me
that I can't
take ...
stand ...
understand ...

that I
dislike deeply

just so I don't say hate

but all
i trully want
in my life

ain't love
money
health
...

i just want to become a better person.