Alone

Tonight I feel alone

these past few days have not been the high light of my holiday.
in between stressing with my friends and stressing with N
i feel so uterly shity.

moments ago i decided to come here to let out a little bit but now that i am here it just seems so pointless cause all i really feel like doing is crying.

but i can't
i must hide all my emotions cause there is no one left that understands how i feel.

Alone...

B day

Happy Birthday Cassie


i just hope to see the two of you guys
because it is remarkle how i feel for you both.

running

I love running...

I love going down to the Paradão where I can see the sea, watch the other people around me enjoy themselves and breath in some fresh air as I try my best to run as fast and for as long as I can.

But there is one kind of running that seems to be pulling me down...
I feel I have to keep running after everyone, I question if it is all in my mind? It just seems that if I don't say a single thing to anyone they will not even notice and so I will spend the weeks alone. Is it just me that wants to get together and do things in groups?

I really don't understand, I thought considering I am not exaclty always present going back to England in two months maybe just maybe my friends would be wanting to actually do stuff. Since I have been back it seems of only my effort to do things... honestly getting really tired and sad.

I guess people have there own lifes...

Natural High!

Nothing like a dancefloor high!

It was perfect. Took a while, little confusion throughout the day, bad negative energy trying to pull me down...
but pizza followed by a free entrance into a place i have tried many times with out success to enter, free, totally with 4 drinks included,
fucking amazing... fucking good music and nothing else but dancing, many hours intensively letting myself go.

And I smiled, a lot.