Grateful: Dad

To my dear Dad:

I don’t need to say much about the way I feel about you, it is only but expected that I truly love you. I read some things and they made me consider how upon years, the relationship I build with you will for ever have true impact on the person I am. The father, the figure of the father is as important as the mother; at least this is my honest opinion. You have impacted the whole of me, you have made an impression that will influence all my relationships and the way I view the world. Truth is Dad, you are a building block to the person I will be for the rest of my life. So said all of this, as it is expected and as I am a girl that follows the general rules, it is quite easy to guess, I love you. But, there is more to this. I do love you, I love you a lot, and there are many things I can point that bring a smile to me. Before anything else I would have to mention that fact you try so damn hard to support this family, my family. I will for ever be thankful for the time, the effort, the dedication. Now, small things, the way you have been the one to show me music, sparkled my interest in dance, techno and sounds that have defined my taste in music. The way you can always fix my technical problems and repair anything I need, figure out solutions to any computer related faults. You have always been there for me, but in very strange ways also. And that is the thing, this little idea that leads me to why I need to write this down. It is only but normal that I love you, but I also feel so sorry for you, I also have disliked the way you treated me, I also don’t understand certain attitudes, and sometimes I have even hated.

The world is a complicated place; you have done your best to prepare me for a future, a future that is dark and hard on the soul. And this is a vision you hold or at least I believe you do, because of the way you have always spoken. It is sad, and for this, I am sorry and I feel sad. I wish you could not have the pressure of our futures on your shoulders, for then maybe you could relax. I don’t see myself as a negative person and I am so damn glad, because I don’t want to be like you Dad, I don’t want to be full of negative emotions. I believe the world is complicated and it can be hard, but I believe my world is smaller than you see it. As I am concerned with the people around me, the ones I love and love me back I see future so much brighter. Isn’t it funny how you watch the news everyday, and I have always been against it? Maybe this little characteristic is something I build in defence of your view. Maybe it is exactly a rebel characteristic. I want to believe in a brighter day.

You have pressured me and my brother, and I am currently fighting for what you and Mom also, believe will be a better future. Part of me believes it also, another does not really know if being away is providing this door to that wish you hold. But for knowing I am bigger than sometimes I believe, for knowing I am stronger than sometimes I take credit, for trusting me, that I thank you.

Fathers they are essential, they will mark a girl and then she will live a life in function of that man’s love. That man’s presence and importance in the girl’s life will have profound impact. So many problems can arise when the father figure is absente, doesn’t care or gives up on the daughter. I had a perfect childhood, Dad you provided me with so many things that I can not begin to enumerate. I know I have issues towards you, like have feeling not good enough, or disappointing. Only normal I presume, and I know these things made a difference but all in all I don’t think there is anything major. I can’t say that consciously there will be any problem in my relationship because of our relationship. And for this I thank you.

There are many other things I could actually speak about but the need to drag this letter out is non existing. For the thing I love about you and for the things I don’t I am grateful.

One day I hope you can experience a single moment of happiness, a moment so strong that it can take your breath away. One day I hope you can love mom the way I think she deserves, hold her and appreciate her more than it seems you do in my eyes. One day I hope you can understand how you are such an important part of my life. One day I hope all your worries disappear. One day I hope I will make you the proudest father on this earth.