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it is so strange to actually have two lifes, kind of two personalities, diferent identities in relation to my surroundings, friends and family.
But nothing like my mom's hug, my friends smile's and a sweet warmth that only the Portuguese sun leaves on my skin.
It was a fantastic welcome and I so so surprised to see so many of my friends sitting around the table, happy for my return. Made me feel special, something I can say, I do miss a lot.
A couple of days have passed and in the mixture of already some complaints from my mom, some weird and mixed feelings towards N I have to say I just want to relax, let go and refresh for another year. The first year was not bad and I am proud of what I achieved but I need to remember next one will need more commitment and so I need to go back with clear determination.
...
I want to remember my place in the situation, not much more than a friend so I will take a step back from the habbit of being your girlfriend. It was strange because I wasn't actually jealous, something that is new to me, I think I was more pissed of with the smoking (I don't know why it pisses me off, I just know it does, it makes me fucking irritated cause I can't get passed the negative of it) and probably even more just because I again lost the attention in the crowd. Now, for this reason... I need to take a step back from my habbit of being something more than I am now. So...
looking at things clearly will be the way I will handle things this time round. We ain't nothing to each other and so I will not excpet nor want anything from ya.
Still need to catch up with some friends, but I am hoping that in the big picture I will be able to provide some help to one or two that are close to me:) A friendly hand is in my opinion always the most important thing in life.
Feeling strong, happy and fresh:)
Home!
it is so strange to actually have two lifes, kind of two personalities, diferent identities in relation to my surroundings, friends and family.
But nothing like my mom's hug, my friends smile's and a sweet warmth that only the Portuguese sun leaves on my skin.
It was a fantastic welcome and I so so surprised to see so many of my friends sitting around the table, happy for my return. Made me feel special, something I can say, I do miss a lot.
A couple of days have passed and in the mixture of already some complaints from my mom, some weird and mixed feelings towards N I have to say I just want to relax, let go and refresh for another year. The first year was not bad and I am proud of what I achieved but I need to remember next one will need more commitment and so I need to go back with clear determination.
...
I want to remember my place in the situation, not much more than a friend so I will take a step back from the habbit of being your girlfriend. It was strange because I wasn't actually jealous, something that is new to me, I think I was more pissed of with the smoking (I don't know why it pisses me off, I just know it does, it makes me fucking irritated cause I can't get passed the negative of it) and probably even more just because I again lost the attention in the crowd. Now, for this reason... I need to take a step back from my habbit of being something more than I am now. So...
looking at things clearly will be the way I will handle things this time round. We ain't nothing to each other and so I will not excpet nor want anything from ya.
Still need to catch up with some friends, but I am hoping that in the big picture I will be able to provide some help to one or two that are close to me:) A friendly hand is in my opinion always the most important thing in life.
Feeling strong, happy and fresh:)
posted by Leila at 3:14 AM
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