just letting go

While since i've been here many emotions have been felt but still i have not let go. or I've tried not to, doing my best to smile cause inside i am not unhappy and i'm still feeling positive and have faith that time will be my friend on this jorney.

but today... i'm letting go.
i'm so angry... i'm so sad and so damn hurt. N you haven't spoken to me for so long, you didn't say nothing but to my messages and that was so long ago, you haven't even taken a minute of your time to tell me how you are how things went.
all i can do is find out from others what is going in your life.
yes
i'm not part of it.
i don't want to be part of it cause boy how have no idea how it hurts. hurts so damn much this... this loving you... no matter what.

but what the fuck is going on with you...
A told me your name is in the nights list... ohh boy why?
why? did you prepare yourself, i can only feel sorry for you if you tried your best and honestly i man do i hope i'm so wrong... but i just think you didn't give a damn probable didn't even try... probable just sticked to your meaningless life with your "love", seams like P is the only person who respect or even have to for now...
not even B knows what going on with you...
what the hell is going on??
fuck it
don't talk to me
i was the bitch that made the mistake
but what about the rest of your friends???

ohhh God i just hope i'm wrong i can't stand to think the things i do.

do u know you are eveything i never wanted?
i was so afraid
so afraid of you
loving you
letting go
giving myself to you
but i did
i did
and today i hurt so damn much for all the mistakes i had.

i still remember everything, from the beggining to the end. Oh how i love you.

Just want to let go of all this guilt. just want to be free from all these thoughts.
wake up guy
pay attention to your life.
Baby, Bunny pleaseee ... before i would say do it for me but know all
i can
say
if i can say anything at all...
do it for yourself.