trying hard...

I miss the friendship.

I wish I could say it is easy but I’m not as strong as other people, I’m not as strong as you or then again I still haven’t been able to move on.

I got to keep believing this is the only way I will be able to breathe. The only way I will finally grow. I got to believe that this is the best because I’ve been hurting for so many years that all I am now is Damaged.

It is not easy to see you around and not be part of your life, it is not easy for me to have so much inside and not be able to let you know about me. Things are not fair for everyone and I’ve been the one that has been “screwed” because I am the one that still cries for you.

It is not easy as I live in fear. My past represents mistakes and failure. Always wanted to be more and better, to be really loved and beautiful inside and out; expectations and desires above my capacities. Above reality. Been holding on to a past, fantasized reality. There is no room for hope when all I am now is Damaged.