“As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I take a look at my life and realize there's not much left
coz I've been blastin and laughin so long, that
even my mama thinks that my mind is gone ”

“Tell me why are we, so blind to see
That the one's we hurt, are you and me
been spending most their lives, living in the gangsta's paradise ”

“they say I gotta learn, but nobody's here to teach me
if they can't undersstand it, how can they reach me
I guess they can't, I guess they won't
I guess they front, that's why I know my life is out of luck, fool ”

“spending most our lives, living in the gangsta's paradise
Tell me why are we, so blind to see
That the one's we hurt, are you and me
Tell me why are we, so blind to see
That the one's we hurt, are you and me ”

--> Coolio.

[fade out]

I believe I should write about what I feel as there seems to be so much pain inside me. Can’t find the strength to talk about it nor the reason for going on about what is “history”. Feels like I have been “wasting” my heart on a non existent love for so long that my heart has shrank to a size non visible by eye. Feelings like regret and sorrow swallowing my soul inside me. Questions of why it needs to be so much harder for me than for him. Questions of why I can’t be like all the guys I know and just move on.
Is there a point in so many years of my life just been erased, just like that?

I just can’t.
I can’t breathe.