numb

the song numb from linkin (today that is my mood)
i listen to the words and feelings hit me

i think i'm completely fucked up inside
cause no way can i be normal...

i feel like i have two people inside me
one looks at the other and says: how can you be the way you are?
one tells the other you will not be able, you are going to fail
no matter what you do...

is this cause i'm just feeling overwhelmed,
to many things going on, to many feelings...

everyone everyday deals with pressure, changes, new commitments,
one person inside me says yeah that ain't the problem
you can deal perfectly fine
cause you can
you are already dealing well.

the other one inside screams... doubts, feels things are going to be screwed...
cause I always do.

"take everything from the inside and through it all away..." wau - from inside - linkin again

I don't know what is wrong with me and me
just need to find a balance maybe...

if nothing is wrong why am i feeling so sad?
am i sad cause i feel like being? maybe... cause i know i must choose to feel differently.

today i choose to feel this way,
in the hopes one side of me tomorrow shouts louder

although you way feel weak right now you will be strong.

...

I wish I could be as tall as my shadow, as strong as the ground I walk on, as confident as the moon that shines on me at night, as beautiful as a fresh flower waking up in the morning, as sweet as the rain on a mid summer day and as innocent as a child's smile.