cold

sad today.

got no good reason
like i never do

got to go sleep
fucked up ideas

missing people
yeah feels like part of me is missing that part that makes me me,
the laughter, the light spirit

i feel like that part of me is dead.

and i know im being stupid cause i know i am strong and there aint nothing at all i cant do cause i ve done so much already, proven so much already to myself
still at the same time im scared that i am pretending hiding the truth of myself
i am not strong i am weak
but i cant be cause i cant fall
there is no one to catch my fall
no one at all

when i do tell someone how i feel, when i do say i am weak
he doesnt even try and stay with me just a few more minutes just to talk a little bit more
but it is not his problem
nor is he the same person
aint the one that is going to catch my fall

that is what is changed
you dont know me anymore
is this a break through
have i understood why i cant love you anymore

you dont try and hold me up
and it is not your problem

so i cant. i cant be weak
i cant be soft

i need to be cold.
i need to be cold

i feel so so cold-
cause im strong and nothing is going to touch me ever again cause i will not hurt ever again.

i cant miss nothing
cant afford to...
not
not anymore.