In a mood

today
that is exactly how i am
in a mood

wanted to talk to you so badly, yesterday and today felt just like chating, telling you how i was and how i felt, telling you about the photo shoot and the film in the cinema but ...
life ain't always exactly how we want it, and things don't always turn out exaclty how you wish them to, especially when it is not just my life in the mix...
so i felt like i was worring you with my messages
second one i sent and i knew it was a mistake right then
and this is how i feel now

i hate this
i run after you
i always do this
and then when i don't get all the attention i want (which is always to much ...) i get sad and feel exaclty like this
in a mood
that is how i feel

i need to get away from not you or this place but me
the part of me that sticks to you
hurts still so much after all this time

5 years
come on
that is enough
at least you moved on about one or two years ago
now me
i wonder
don't matter
not important
just need to get out of this mood.
the way i feel today i honestly just want to leave and not say goodbye cause i can't face you... you will never understand
understand what you mean to me

after all this time
it has been to long
and i can't carry on loving you...