cry

I haven't cried for a while now.

Not that I have any perfectly good reason to though but I just seem to need to today.

I'm worried about you Cassie,
I need to see you again, I need to say goodbye. I can't believe you aren't doing everything, that you aren't taking all the measures possible to make yourselve better. It makes me angry.

N it all seems to come down to girls, you tell me how you feel and in my head all I understand is that you are trying to avoid situations and that you try and close yourselve up because you are afraid, you say you are doing the right thing, but if you feel it is the right thing, why do you say it is hard for you?
Why does it all come down to girls?

Jorge, good friend of mine, complaining also about girls.

Why are we all desperatly looking for this...
love
or what the fuck we can call it.

Right now I say to hell with love.
Right now I say to hell with love so strongly. I hate the idea of you loving someone N
touching someone
thinking of someone
wanting someone

and right now I wish you wanted me and loved me and felt so fucking miserable cause you dindn't have me...

but that is not the reality not even close.

So I try and I racionalize.
Reality
I stoped beeing loved by you long long time ago, and that is that. You will soon find a girl and your fucking nonsense will dissapear... and after all
it is normal
everyone one just wants to follow up with their lives and be happy

Jorge it is normal you search for love... just don't make it something and become paranoid about it... let it take its flow.

But right now
racionality aside
i just fucking wish
i could erase
the memory of you
so it would be fucking easier
to carry on with my life.