choices
I kind of missed the rides on the bus. I do not particularly enjoy the waiting and standing in the cold, having to deal with timetables is not exactly what I appreciate the most. However, when I finally get in the bus and sit down, in my little space, preferably next to the window, then it begins. It is a process that I have come to love. I put my head phones in and the rest of the world seems to cease to exist. I am left alone with my music and my thoughts and I feel in some strange way, free.
It is my time to think, better yet my time to deal, actually. Therapy is a strange thing. I should not be writing as exams are coming and all my attention and time should be devoted to these, but I am so far away. Motivation is lacking and this is a problem. I am not going to though, give in to writing everything I want, or feel like to. It would take a considerable amount of time and I should leave it for after next week. All I want to do in a strange way is write, say, notes, so that I can remember everything I am feeling, thinking, processing.
To develop: my more guilt trips; easier to stay down low than exile in euphoria; afraid of the future.
It is my time to think, better yet my time to deal, actually. Therapy is a strange thing. I should not be writing as exams are coming and all my attention and time should be devoted to these, but I am so far away. Motivation is lacking and this is a problem. I am not going to though, give in to writing everything I want, or feel like to. It would take a considerable amount of time and I should leave it for after next week. All I want to do in a strange way is write, say, notes, so that I can remember everything I am feeling, thinking, processing.
To develop: my more guilt trips; easier to stay down low than exile in euphoria; afraid of the future.
posted by Leila at 10:58 AM
1 Comments:
it seems our mind is never where it should be. everything a constante struggle to keep focused. and that is in the case when we KNOW what is it that we are supposed to be focused on lol
write. notes, telegrams, post-scriptums. write. as long as it helps to keep yours thoughts in some order, as long as it helps (period)... just write. don't worry about the time it takes: if you're not spending it as you should, at least is being used for something else and in some way, can help get that concentration you need so much right now.
it's like the bus: you hate the waiting and all that time shivering in the cold but it's sort of worth it because then you get that precious time, wrapped in your moment of freedom. it may seem little but it goes a long, long way. (i can kind of relate to that but for me it's the train)
love u loads * [ ]
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