Life opportunities

“Ain’t that just the way that life goes down, down, down. Moving way to fast or much to slow.” - My song and mommy’s, usually played when I recall that we need it and we sing along to the words because we both know them so well.
So, as I sit here in my room playing the song over and over again, I realise how empty the house is now. A month of coming and going, highs and lows, huge love and care, small little arguments but also lots of laughter. I bit of everything that makes me remember how complex my existence can be. A month of having the family all together or better in pieces all together as first my brother came, then my parents, then my uncle and aunt while the essential grandparents stayed solid. It was a life time opportunity and I am so grateful. It had been so many years that it felt like a life time since we last saw them. It is amazing how much I love them but how little I actually lived beside them. A strong emotional connection with two somewhat strangers that showed to be enduring no matter what. I really hope to get the chance to see them again and I don’t want to think of any other possibility.

Cassie and Darling I hope life to come carries on allowing the growth of the love between the two of you. It is most definitely what reminds me there is something special in this world. With all my heart I wish only but the best for you two.

Now it is the time for me to get back into my life. So many serious conversations about who I am and where I am going. Trying to find the “right” path for me and make the “right” decisions as I face one of my deepest fears – growing up. As a struggle all I want is to be happy. All I want is to a better person.